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Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way...
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Gaming dads who never forget your kids... You Da real MVP.
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Selective hearing aids for men
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That face you make when someone on FaceBook is "So In Love" for the 3rd time this year.
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When you ask McDonalds employee for extra sauce that'll be 26 cents more PLZ
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Dog Food Taster Job
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Feline Lap Surrogate Employee Needed... morning shift
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I love my job only when i'm on vacation.
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It's Friday... I MUST DANCE!
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When I said to make me a sammich I didint mean it literally....
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Imagine a world where dogs took bad owners to the pound.
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In the 70's they blamed the Dobermans. In the 80's they blamed the German Shepherds. In the 90's the Rottweilers. Now they blame the Pit Bull.
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Things I hate about my job... 1) Getting out of bed 2) People 3) Working
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Animals they fear. They want to live. They get cold. They want affection. They Love.
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We all dream the same dream about living. Let's all live it. Don't eat animals.
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SHAVED GUINA PIG = BABY HIPPO
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Dog park pickup lines Your butt smells like kennel #5
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Dog Paws... Excuse me, you forgot to leave the door open. I'll just make sure you see my paws and know I'm here for moral support.
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Raccoon Chat... We're going to need to talk...
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I would like an application for the K-9 unit please.
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Come back!! We miss you already!
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Dammit lazy human. Clean the damn house already!
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YOU would think HUMANS could clean up DER own mess!!!
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Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, "I know it's hard.
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Human is NO time for war. Is time for cuddles.
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in life it's not where you go - It's who you travel with.
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Kittens...Going into the prayer room. Lions... Coming out of the prayer room.
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No, i haven't seen your pills... But have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?
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