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having a gender reveal party tomorrow for the hamster I just got at petco. nothin crazy just gonna flip it over and see if it has a dick or whatever
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When I say i'm not going to drink at the party, but an hour later, I'm like... " I'm Batman "
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When I finish arguing and I hear the person mumbling
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When you have no experience, but some how you got the job anyway.
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So my creepy neighbor got a new door mat.
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When you speed past a cop and try to see if they pulled out after you
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GAS AND WELDING SUPPLIES... DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY NEVER HAD A SIGN BEFORE
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When you meet your friend at the bar and they have 5 shots waiting for you... so it begins
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I told my husband to stop putting his dirty socks on the floor, and an hour later I see this...
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When people ask me why I'm still single... I have what they call an unattractive face.
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When u let a small obstacle keep you from achieving your dreams
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Feed a fox once and he'll show up like this, everyday for 6 months
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holy cracker, I forgot my briefcase
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So you're just gonna scroll past without saying howdy
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This chicken is not done yet...
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WHEN I SEE MY HOUSE AFTER MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN CHARGE ALL DAY
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I know a single parent when I see one...
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When you hope the door doesn't try to hit you on your way out.
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When a creepy guy at the bar you've been flirting with all night asks for your number...
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When a guy successfully cleans a poo stain on the side of the toilet bowl with his pee, he's like...
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Me when I sit down, because I hate doing squats
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My husband when I tell him I have a headache...
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WEIRD DOGS
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When you're hanging out at the beach with your crush
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Pretty sure this is why they caution us when " men are working ahead. "
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Screw it!! I'm gardening!
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I Have A job so i'm able to buy video games can't play video games because i have a job.
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I'm always online. So if you think that i'm ignoring you..i am.
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"You can't stay mad when listening to Ukulele".
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I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter's date told him it's much faster after 10 pm.
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