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Thought there were battle droids in the car next to us
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When you stop at Taco Bell late one night and see a drunk woman ordering $50 worth of food...
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I have no idea who this person was, but I do know they had a great sense of humor.
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HOW MY SON CRAWLS INTO OUR BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
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So my husband fell off the roof today...
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I'm 100% sure this flight is going to Florida...
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When you're at your breaking point, but you're hanging in there.
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I KNOW THIS PHOTO IS FAKE BECAUSE THERE'S AN EMPLOYEE AT EACH REGISTER
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Totally thought there were 5 bald guys in that car
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Let's be honest. Watching childhood cartoons when you're an adult is really weird.
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When your friend is petting your dog and he says, " I think he likes me more than you. " I WILL LITERALLY KILL YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY.
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My dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex. All the slides were just pictures of me.
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Putting your kid's faces on pillows for your wife's birthday really seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally graduate from Art School.
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THERE IS NO FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE STRONGER THAN THE FORCE THAT HOLDS 5 GALLON BUCKETS TOGETHER
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How me and the cashier look at each other while we wait for my card to process...
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THE NEW YORK GIANTS TRYING TO TURN THEIR SEASON AROUND
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" Sometimes I'm not sure what I hate more... everyone or everything..."
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The day after Halloween...
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Don't text and fly!
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I do nail for you. make you look so pretty. I help you get boyfriend. Your not Asian! Quit reading it like that!
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I wish all my younger siblings would appreciate how low I set the bar for them.
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When the food two tables away smells really good...
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Well, that's just about enough internet for one day...
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Can I borrow this shirt Dad?
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ME: I LOVE TO TRAVEL BANK ACCOUNT: LOL TO WHERE, THE BACKYARD?
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Doorknob is short for Doorknobert
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My five year old was so proud he was able to figure this out, I didn't have the heart to tell him...
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