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When you've been single your whole life but you give your friends relationship advice I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess.
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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
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Alright! I'll switch to geico!
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When a dog stops and lets you pet him, but then walks away...
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Quite possibly the most annoying plastic bag holder ever...
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Every time I call complain about my bill going up for no reason, Comcast is like...
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Wang INSURANCE Because you really can't put a price on peace of mind.
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Me trying to wake my " non morning person " wife up like...
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Everyone in the left lane has seen Final Destination
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I'D LIKE TO REPORT THE DESTRUCTION OF MY DEATH STAR
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When your kid has a bad cold but still wants a hug and a kiss goodnight...
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When you fall asleep on the train and wake up 48 years later...
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MUCH BUTTHURT I SENSE IN YOU CRY LIKE A BITCH YOU SHOULD
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THE FORCE AWAKENS THE FORCE NEEDS 5 MORE MINUTES
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GIVE A F**K  I DO NOT
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I cannot believe it!  Cubs finally win and Trump is President!
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Live Long... and TARDIS ON!!!
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MEN:  Wolf, No Problem!  Bear, No Problem!  Lion, No Problem! OMG It's A SPIDER!!!
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Whoa bro! I did not mean to teleport your girlfriend.
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No, you da man!
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Unfortunately, there is one in every family
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Just when you think things cannot get any worse
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LOL No one does awkward family photos like the Supernatural Cast
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Mmm Hmmm Captain Kirk got it goin' on Back There!!!
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Vader Rocks! Join the Dark Side if you want to Rock too!!!
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With our Fandoms Combined We can Rule the Entertainment Industry!!!
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OMG! I have been felt up by a Wookie!
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Thanks to Supernatural's Castiel, I want to be Touched by an Angel!
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