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The " Thomething Mithing " part of this sign is a nice touch...
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NOW HIRING a girlfriend... - Full Time - Please love me
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PLEASE do not knock. Dog will bark. Baby will wake. Stuff will get real.
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Whoever stole my Romney yard sign thanks for the inspiration! P.S. Come on my property again; one pissed off US marine and his 2nd amendment rights will greet you!
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Nice try ghosts.
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McDonalds : Try our new crap.
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Don't be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the Tequila, not the lime.
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RENT A HUSBAND satisfaction guaranteed! Referrals furnished!
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PLEASE BE SAFE. Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. Thank you.
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Herpes pizza... WHERE ONE SLICE LASTS FOREVER!
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ROSES ARE RED SO IS KETCHUP. HAVE A CORNDOG
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SATISFY YOUR VALENTINE WITH A FOOTLONG
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WARNING This property protected by husband with gun & wife with P.M.S. Guess which one is home.
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Wanted: Good Woman Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms, and clean fish. Must have motor boat.
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Event Parking: Client Parking, Deliveries, Endless Loop, Straight To Hell, (route not recommended).
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Any persons (Except Player) caught collecting golf balls on the course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
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WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
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STAFF MUST WASH HANDS, EVERY TIME Even if they are 99% sure they do not have pee on them.
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My wife has been kidnap. In short .99 cents for ransom.
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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but i turned myself around.
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FOUND: 5ft tall velociraptor. Very Bitey. May have come from a bad home. He doesn't answer to anything. He is very angry. Please come pick him up immediately!
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Hospital - Shiing
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First Baptist : If your life stinks we have a pew for you.
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Due to the rising cost of ammunition.  I'm no longer able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for understanding!
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DO NOT FEED FINGERS TO THE ANIMALS
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Providence Baptist Church : Don't wait for the hearse to bring you to church.
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Claude Presbyterian Church : There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.
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GO HARD! DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING! That's what she said. WALKING, ain't nobody got time for that!
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It's too cold to change the sign.
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Remember : STRESSED is Desserts spelled backwards.
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