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What wives say. What husbands hear.
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Almost all serial killers are men. That's because women like to kill just one man, very slowly, over many, many years.
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This is why i can't take my husband out to dinner ...
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Husband's are the best people to share secrets with. They will never tell anyone because they aren't even listening.
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If your love doesn't reach this deep RUN!
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Cheap Divorces. End the misery today!
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When she already knows truck is gonna get more love
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" See, right here. I'm not making it up. It's till' death do you part. " *well, sh*t
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I want to get married. When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all, then you're ready to get married!
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WHY SO SAD? It's only for the rest of your life!
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Love is beautiful.
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Will You Marry Me
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Just because I'm mad doesn't mean i stop caring
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Yes, honey. I'm still paying my life insurance premium.
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Happily ever after? Never heard of it
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The funny thing about a strong woman is that she doesn't need you -  She wants you and if your slacking she'll be content without you.
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Superwoman : Single ; Batwoman: Single; Wonderwoman: Single;  I get it now... I'm single because I'm a superhero.
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"I'm Single" because God is busy writing the best love story for me :)
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This could be us, but i hate running and you don't exist.
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My soulmate is out there somewhere,  pushing a pull door... I just know it.
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My wife is finally coming home from her week long trip, so you know what i'm getting tonight... yelled at. I'm gonna get yelled at.
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HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! THAT'S ME IN THE BACK
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For Sale By Owner Must sell lost job can't pay wife left took dog. House a gem except for asbestos. Best offer
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He stole my heart so i am planning revenge... I am going to take his last name
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Happy wife, happy life nothing rhymes with happy husband. Welcome to married life dumbass
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Stairway to my heart!
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Sure you can have "Boys night out" 32 messages, 41 missed calls, 20 voicemail.
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" Describe Your dream Wedding." ME:
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The real housewives of Alabama.
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DRIVING AROUND waiting on my wife to pick a place to eat.
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