When my Mom asks me why I'm still single, I'm like...
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This is why women live longer...
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Jon interview: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? me: GOOD AT NAPS
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The awkward moment when you tell the new guy to put some caulk on the back of the board and the new guy though you said something else.
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3 stages of my life in one photo
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Stop making so many multiplayer games. I don't have friends
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Me and my son on our way to annoy my wife
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AFTER ALL THIS TIME?
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The awkward moment when you realize her shirt is actually a tattoo...
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When you open the oven to check on your chicken strips...
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Me getting ready for plans I made when I was in a good mood...
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Me: * playing games on my phone * Little kid behind me on the bus:
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Me one minute into no nut November
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my life is falling apart but at least I have some rad socks
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9 year old me when I find a cool rock at the beach
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Waiter: Kids under 12 eat free... Dad: Ah my boy just turned 11 yesterday... Me: Actually I'm Fift... Dad:
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(Untitled) Funny Picture #14098
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(Untitled) Funny Picture #14097
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WAS THE BASTARD FED TODAY?!?!?
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Uh Oh My car wants me to buy drugs
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Wow, huge congratulations Toilet. So excited for you
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Is there a support group of people who wake up on time but lay in the bed until it makes them late?
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The awkward moment when you ask your kid why he's nose deep in the mannequins bottom and he replies with, " I think she farted. "
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So I read in the paper today that Amazon has a hit car show.
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guys fridges look like this and they don't see an issue what kind of guy puts an opened beer back in the fridge
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Me after a long day of really bad choices...
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When I say "Sorry I have plans" this is what I have planned
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When Pizza Hut asks you how much cheese they should put on your pizza and you tell them "all of it"
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RUB MY BUTT THEN YOU CAN PULL MY PORK
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Parents "My back hurts" "It's that phone
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