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My neighbor's dogs are kinda freaking me out right now.
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When you have no money, and someone asks you how your weekend was... LESS INTENSE ZERO ALCOHOL
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I have never wanted anything more in my life...
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Me when I swat a fly out of mid air... King Kong ain't got shit on me!
8 Views
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We mean it when we say All leashed pets are welcome in our stores...
11 Views
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Another one... The dust
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Can I ride shotgun?
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The groomer did him dirty
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I'M IN THIS BOX BECAUSE I'M A FATTY FAT CAT AND I ATE ALL THE PIES
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Boring. Boring. Boring. Ouh! Free yarn samples!
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When I forget to feed her, she's like...
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When the dog catches you sleeping in his favorite water bowl
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That's it, I'm calling the cops.
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When you ask your mom to stay home from school and then she finally leaves for work... I'm too weak
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When you been with bae all day and he leaves
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When you've slept for 2 hours and think coffee will help.
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When you're doing the wallet- keys- phone triple pocket tap and you only count two
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When you step on a Lego at 3 am and everyone is sleeping
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When you're grabbing a midnight snack and someone turns on the kitchen light:
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When the creepy guy at the bar sits down by me and starts flirting with me, I'm like... stay in your lane
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Whoever said, " Romance is Dead " was probably right... Melissa, I'm breaking up with you #AtTheColiseum
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I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would just be proud of me.
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My new Motto... Everything coffee!
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If you can't fix it, at least be creative:
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What gives you butterflies every single time, no matter how many times you experience it? ... Buying caterpillers
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what part of your morning routine takes the longest? ... Deciding to get up
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When you see all your friends having shirtless summer fun but you can't participate because pizza
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I need to get my life together, this weather made me realize I can't go to hell.
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Him: " I bet you look beautiful when you wake up " Me:
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All I want is a two-income house hold and to live alone
12 Views
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