The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show!
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What are we gonna sleep over and do each other's hair next?
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a man lives here
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RUN...these vulturous lunatics just found out i have money
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Farts are never funny
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Shhhh...i iz seen farter Crispmess!
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I ask for back scratches then i fart in the scratcher's face.
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In the divorce my wife got the house and the car...i delivered the car today...
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So I'm boring because i don't drink or go clubbing? Have you ever thought maybe you're boring because you need alcohol for your dull personality?
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NOT SURE IF THAT'S RUDE OR FUNNY?
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Liam, it's time you improved your technology skills. Learn to use the TV remote or else!
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I'm going to eat all your cake then fart on you.
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I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to "Single."
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Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out.
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I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.
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OHH GURLLL...Not with those shoes on!
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Stupid People get old too
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Types of Facebookers...Hyena, Lurker, Rooster
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Ya'll keep Yer damned Obammycare! Yeah, give us that affordable care act thing instead!
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Jon Bon Jovi...Girl please, I used to wear drop pocket shorts before it was cool.
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Best pick-up line ever
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Ladies, make sure u find a WISE man. Don't worry if he ain't cute. You can Dress UP something that's ugly, but u can't cover up a fool! # AMEN
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Be a best friend, tell the truth, overuse I love You, go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense, Never let your knees get lazy & love like CRAZY
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I am one bad relationship fro having 30 cats
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ASS, Get down from there. You are a back. You don't even have a spine.
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Go home for Holidays...Spend whole time doing tech support for family
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On Blizzard on Big Gulp On Frosty and Whopper! On Big Mac, Chalupa, McDouble and Poppler!
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Whoever stole our AC units keep one it is hot where you're going
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When you dead and a bad____ walk in your funeral chick
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My doctor has diagnosed me with...Over, Compulsive, Bon Jovi, Disorder
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