Ever feel the need to get something off your chest and rant anonymously? try our new site IRantMe.com

If every kiss begins with "K" Then I'm just going to assume that when you text me "K" you secretly want to make out.
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I've seriously been trying to come up with a Miley Cyrus joke, but it's just not twerking.
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What did one saggy boob say to the other? We'd better perk up or people will think we're nuts!
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I think it's funny that people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them
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If women ruled the world there would be no wars...Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other
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in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take and the poorly timed farts
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Live, fart,laugh
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My butt fell asleep! I know...I can hear it snoring.
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I just farted in the med room
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A good husband always takes out the trash.
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I married my stalker... This could be us, but you keep calling the police
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The matrix for every married man
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Pretty women make us buy beer, ugly women make us drink beer
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A married man...made his own sandwich? A woman is reading the newspaper?
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I haven't farted in 3 years
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When you feel a fart coming
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Taking selfies, and then he farted...
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I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but when i fart, the room smells lovely.
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Never hold farts in. They travel up your spine and into your brain. That's where your crappy ideas come from.
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Never fart in a wetsuit!
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"It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat."
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Hello, I am your new wallpaper (and I love you.)
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HeHe I just farted...They know
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If you think your life sux...Think about SpongeBOB
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Back off ladies! You shall NEVER take our virginity!
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FACEBOOK...For when you want the whole world to know your a slut
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FAT EMO...When the world gets you down, eat it.
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Hey Girl, feel my sweater. Know that it's made of boyfriend material.
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Timmie? Timmie, what's wrong? Dog poisoning...Go on without me...
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Come here...Pull my finger.
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