Too often, we loose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT...It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and Bitch - Slap that mother f#?@#& upside the head!
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Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil
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'The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order."
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A boss is like a diaper...Always on your ass, and usually FULL of___!
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Farting Is normal, having your tampon fly across the room...not so much
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You remind me of my Chinese friend...Ug Lee
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I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm just saying you could go to the vet and nobody would ask questions
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I just farted!
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This fart-powered rocket will prove once and for all that I'm not just full of hot air like the wife says
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Yeah, well your farts aren't exactly rose scented either, pal!
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I know a good petroleum joke, but it's a bit crude
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I like my women like i like my oil Light, Sweet, Crude
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Excuse me officer, I just robbed a store i need to be cuffed and frisked immediately
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Sometimes I..Beat off 6 times in a day
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The seven witches of menopause...itchy, bitchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful, and psycho
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UHH - OHH... I got gas
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What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal
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Ladies please...Hold your orgasms
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They be all like...You need pants to fly
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Wow, your baby is sooo SMALL!
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Note to self: WEARING headphones doesn't make my farts silent
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Shit! Did you fart?
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How to shit on humans
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There, I heart you too. Now clean it up.
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Tight dress, Thong & Skid mark...overdressed for Walmart
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Be careful down there, sweetie-Grandma's just had her nipples pierced.
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Oops! Wait a minute honey, it says insert your floppy DISK! Ethel and Stanley's first computer
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Dis my favrit yoga pose is called "Showing the Package"
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Did you really just fart in my general direction?
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I told Bubba to move ahhhhhhhh BOOM!!
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