Me: I need to stop being lonely and talk to people... Someone: Hey... Me:
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I showed you my butthole pls respond
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YES YOU HEARD US CORRECTLY WE'LL TAKE ALL OF YOUR HAMBURGERS
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I see the problem. Your guitar is out of tuna
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The look of betrayal
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Gargling! Not as easy as it looks!
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Me... Taco bell... 4 hours later Taco bell... me
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Payback is a dish best served cold...
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Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.
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YEP, I've Gotz De UTI... Tired Of DE HUMans Puttin Pills down my throat  & staring at my junk!!!!
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I'm not proud but what's done is done
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She works hard for the money
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When i'm crying he brings me his mice
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Where the heck is the pizza guy?
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I think my cat is actually a tiny man in a cat suit
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I made a tiny turban for a friend's baby, tried it out on the cat first...
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When your soul is dark and evil, and they ask you to smile
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Please read the instruction manual carefully!
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Some cats bring their humans birds and mice... Oliver brings me teabags
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WHEN YOUR SLAVES FEED YOU BUT THE BOWL IS NOT IN THE RIGHT SPOT
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This is Bruce and he likes to stare at fans
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I like my women like i like my mouse Computer literate and on the side
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It's your birthday I like to propose a toast!
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How cats and men are the same They both fall asleep with remote in their hand / claw
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This chicken is not done yet...
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I fluffed it up for you. You're welcome.
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YOU WANT TO PEE? HOLD IT. I AM STILL SLEEPING.
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Me...The last pickle
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I think Biscuit likes his new hamster bed...
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There's always that one friend.
28 Views
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You sleep on floor tonight, HUMAN.
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I'm starting to think my cats are tormenting my dog
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My cat watching me eat a tuna fish sandwich without sharing...
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If you used the box like me we wouldn't have to do this.
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Think you better get started on YUR New Year's resolutions. So many improvements needed, and so little time.
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AWKWARD the moment you realize the cat you were talking about is right behind you.
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NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION Option A: Lose some weight Option B: Buy a bigger basket
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Motivation i has none.
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Her new obsession with the pole has me mildly concerned
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What you mean flush? Are we playing poker?
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We are doomed. The cats have joined forces
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OMG it's Christmas. Guess what? I don't care!
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" Do they still worship us, child? "... " Well I shit in the box and they clean it. "... " Good Job. "
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Batteries not included
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I can't get out of bed... These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust.
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We can rebuild him; we have the technology
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Good for you, you found them. Now pick them up and put them with the rest of my things.
211 Views
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When i see drama i'm not involved in.
33 Views
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This is Ralph, he comes to collect our cat for playtime every day and waits outside like this
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there you are... mom has been looking everywhere for you! you'll miss your vet appointment!
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Yes? The dog said you want to speak to the manager
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Your Wi-Fi is borked! No idea how that happened!
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