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This summarizes my love life I'm the guy in blue
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I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter's date told him it's much faster after 10 pm.
30 Views
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Men after they cough once:
38 Views
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"You can't stay mad when listening to Ukulele".
34 Views
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me... my brain's collection of useless facts
280 Views
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No one wants to tickle me
237 Views
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Whenever i start to get lonely i just stop being lonely and start being awesome instead
77 Views
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Sometimes i wonder if she dreams about me
56 Views
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Home owner be like I watched You Tube.
23 Views
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Know what else they tol' me? They ain't got no fried chicken on this flight!
22 Views
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She got rich because of one sentence.
23 Views
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Maybe next time Alex  you'll obey when the flight attendant tells you to shut up.
19 Views
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Me trying to jump over the obstacles in my life.
16 Views
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Screw it!! I'm gardening!
42 Views
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When your hair appointment gets canceled after you've already taken out yo weave.
30 Views
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Natural beauty is for lazy people.
30 Views
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Some days you just have to put on the hat to remind them who they are dealing with.
34 Views
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Who's that sexy beast? ...Oh, I clicked on my own profile again.
61 Views
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Ways to tell a woman's mad at you: 1) She's silent 2) She's yelling 3) She acts the same 4) She acts different 5) She murdered you
43 Views
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A smart man will make his women feels  like she's always right
40 Views
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Secret to longevity? Stay away from men Sweetie!!
35 Views
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If men are going to make fun of a woman Make sure you look like this first.
46 Views
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Dating? Ain't nobody got time for that!!
40 Views
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When your baby cries for your wife and creativity is all you got.
43 Views
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The face of a new father of quadruplets...
42 Views
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Who said men can't multitask
39 Views
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IDK WHY THEY CALL IT " MID " LIFE WHEN LITERALLY MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A CRISIS
2 Views
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Wait, what is playing in theaters?
20 Views
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When he comes back in the room and sees his phone on, you're like... what?
19 Views
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When someone tells me carbs are bad for me, I'm like...
21 Views
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My kid emptying their backpack on the kitchen floor on the last day of school like...
21 Views
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Me watching politics on the news in 2017 like...
35 Views
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Me every day of my life... I've got to do something about the way I look!
30 Views
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I have a particular set of skills, skills i have learned over my career. I will find your fishing spot and i will fish it.
26 Views
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This is the most redneck wedding in southern history.
18 Views
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" Just one more cast " Is equivalent to a woman saying she'll be ready in 5 minutes.
23 Views
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Stuck in traffic, might as well get comfy.
21 Views
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Long-Term Broke Up With Me Because We couldn't Handle Distance But My Tissues have Lotion, So I Got That Going For Me, Which Is Nice!
19 Views
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Are you serious? They just said no flash photography!
21 Views
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A virgin birth i can believe, but finding three wise men?
24 Views
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In line behind this guy buying condoms & his card got declined.
21 Views
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If I ever win the lotto, I'm getting myself a walk in closet.
24 Views
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The awkward moment when someone tapes a photo of Gollum to your mirror and you have a mini heart attack
25 Views
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When you've had a lot to drink and are too drunk to move, so you just sit there like...
24 Views
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Quick, hand me my phone. I need to call the boys.
20 Views
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Not so romantic when you see the whole picture...
17 Views
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Me hiding the last beer from my husband...
18 Views
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You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
25 Views
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HEY BABY ... I want you like a non-metal wants electrons.
19 Views
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Love is in the air? WRONG. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air
22 Views
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Selfies! Wait a minute I need to post this!
29 Views
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But first, let me take a selfie!
19 Views
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