I need to start wearing a GoPro on nights out so I can pinpoint where exactly it all goes wrong
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There should be a reality cooking show more like everyday life: with wonky pans,dull knives, and half the dishes you need are dirty
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That's one big bowl of nart chose with extra quack then Moley. Scone app the beef... Trying to read that actually caused me pain
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May your coffee be stronger  than your toddler
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Make an all male rock band that only covers female artists and call it " That's what she said "
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BE KIND TO ANIMALS OR I'LL KILL YOU
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I GET THE MOST OF MY EXCERCISE THESE DAYS FROM SHAKING MY HEAD IN DISBELIEF
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Christmas is over! We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
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SOME PEOPLE SHOULD INTRODUCE THEIR UPPER LIP TO THEIR LOWER LIP SOMETIME AND JUST SHUT UP!
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YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID... BUT YOU CAN NUMB IT WITH A 2x4.
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I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT PEOPLE I JUST RANDOMLY REMEMBER THINGS AND GET REALLY EXCITED
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