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Relationship Goals... SHE'S MY SWEET POTATO... I YAM
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I do whatever the voices in my wifes head tell me to do
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Dating after 30 is like... I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me.
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When you let your best buddy read the texts from a fight you had with your girl
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I WOULD LIKE YOUR PICS BUT THE WAY MY RELATIONSHIP IS SETUP
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Just another reason to date tall guys
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So long story short... she got the house
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So, dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls? What do the smart girls get? Cats, mostly
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EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO YOUR WIFE, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS REMIND YOURSELF...
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When someone asks why ur still single
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when you see your ex post something about loyalty and trust
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when I lost my ex at a party i found him hooking up with another girl in the next room... last night i lost my boyfriend at a party and found him alone eating buffalo chicken dip straight out of the crock pot! Upgrades
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My new favorite wedding cake topper...
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Everytime a man does a woman wrong... God pushes his hairline back by an inch.
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reasons to date me: 1. I'll be the uglier one in the relationship. 2. please
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Who says romance is dead...Punch my fart box
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when your girl's in a bad mood and she starts to take it out on you
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Local donut shop is saving marriages one donut at a time.
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Who says romance is dead?
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Living the single life
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Doctor: " Hmm, your blood pressure seems high. " Me: " That's weird. No idea why? "
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I never wanna hear a girl complain about a shrimp dick again
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When people ask me why I'm single... I hate talking to people
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Honey, men are like accessories... if they don't compliment your wardrobe, shop for another one.
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Men be like  I'm finally ready to settle down.
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Why do i have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong.
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I saw you talking with the cashier. You smiled. Three times.
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I told my husband to stop putting his dirty socks on the floor, and an hour later I see this...
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When people ask me why I'm still single... I have what they call an unattractive face.
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WHEN I SEE MY HOUSE AFTER MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN CHARGE ALL DAY
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When a creepy guy at the bar you've been flirting with all night asks for your number...
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My husband when I tell him I have a headache...
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When you're hanging out at the beach with your crush
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Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.
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When my husband says we're going to visit his family...
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My face when I go back and re-read the texts I sent him after i've calmed down...
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When my wife finds out I ate all the cupcakes she made this morning, I'm like... I'm not ashamed of who I am.
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Sometimes you just gotta throw the whole man away and start over...
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( 100 miles from exit ) Wife: You need to get in the right lane.
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Me watching my husband quietly close the dishwasher after taking just one clean dish out
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shout out to my mans- still gettin some
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Wife - We have to go to Kohls today so I can spend my $5 Kohls cash before it expires. Me - I'll give you $10 if I can stay home.
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Rush hour crush Love well lust is all around us, as is proven by the messages left by our commuter cupids...
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Miserable husbands trapped while wife shops
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When your kid is crying at 2 a.m. and you have to pretend you're sleeping so your wife has to get up and get her.
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Me when my wife starts snoring... PIVOT!
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I was eating a toaster strudel in bed and dropped it. no way my wife is gonna believe that story
325 Views
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When ur wife asks you to go to the mall with her during Christmas season
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GF: " Your beard shavings are making the sink look dirty "
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CUTE THINGS TO CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND...
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When your husband is a smartass.
111 Views
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Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave.
27 Views
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