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My kids after I take them to Taco Bell...
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you've heard of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, now get ready for...
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No Soliciting! We are too broke to buy anything. We know who we are voting for. We have found Jesus. Seriously, unless you are giving away beer please go away!
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WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LEAVING FOR KEITH RICHARDS?
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Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
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If you can't handle the heat, get out of the
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Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
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I hate it when you see a sign and suddenly your plans are ruined
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After reading this sign, I'm 100% sure that the internet has in fact ruined me.
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NOTICE: Please do not flush anything in the toilets other than toilet paper Thank you... WHAT SHOULD I Do With The Poop?
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The awkward moment when you figure out what the acronym for group is.
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IT'S OK TO SAY " NO " TO PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA!
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WE DONT CALL 911... I wonder who they call if Grandpa is having a heart attack?
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There's a designated crying area in my university's testing center.
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I think the airport got a little angry at complaints...
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For everyone who smoked the Devil's lettuce on 420... CHRIST WAS WATCHING
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REST ROOM OUT OF ODOR... Nailed it
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If your electrical device (watch, phone, pager, etc) activates anytime during the concert, you will be required to go on stage and - PLAY THE BASSOON
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Say no more
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To be honest, I'm surprised they can drive at all.
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WHAT DOES A DUCK SMOKE? QUACK
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Krispy Kreme: " No cash on board " Me: " I'm not robbing your for your money. "
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Aw thanks sign
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OPEN SLOWLY DOOR IS FRAGILE Aren't we all?
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Fire sold separately...
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OMG! Snow exists!
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The understatement of the year is... TRUMP THAT BOY DONT ACT RIGHT
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Where the heck does 20% come from? Atlantis?!?
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Is this some sort of reverse psychology?
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Successful businesses know their audiences.
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Wonder who thought of the name for this subdivision
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When I tell someone an amazing story and they ask if it's really true, and i'm like...
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I've seen enough movies to know that something is going to go horribly wrong here.
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STORE TIP!!! "Accidentally" buy the potato chips your spouse doesn't like so you don't have to share.
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If you don't like our sense of humor  please tell us... so we can laugh at you.
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We like our guns locked up safe and secure like Obama's birth records
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BUTTCREAM CHEF Not gonna lie, i laughed like a damn 9-year old would...
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Our beer is as cold as your EX'S heart
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Life Is Short Smile While You Still Have Teeth
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ELK CITY IS A BIRD SANCTUARY According to the chickens, Elk city is lying.
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Teach your children about tax. Eat 30% of their ice cream.
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UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN ESPRESSO AND A FREE KITTEN
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Remember : STRESSED is Desserts spelled backwards.
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It's too cold to change the sign.
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GO HARD! DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING! That's what she said. WALKING, ain't nobody got time for that!
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Claude Presbyterian Church : There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.
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Providence Baptist Church : Don't wait for the hearse to bring you to church.
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DO NOT FEED FINGERS TO THE ANIMALS
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Due to the rising cost of ammunition.  I'm no longer able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for understanding!
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First Baptist : If your life stinks we have a pew for you.
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Hospital - Shiing
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FOUND: 5ft tall velociraptor. Very Bitey. May have come from a bad home. He doesn't answer to anything. He is very angry. Please come pick him up immediately!
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