Behind every successful woman... is herself.

Behind every successful woman... is herself.
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Just when I thought my pet was talented this happened!
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Me trying to cheer up my friends...
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Teamwork makes the dream work.
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How me and the cashier look at each other while we wait for my card to process...
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Screw this I'm pooping in the house today.
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When you want to get in shape but all you can think about is pizza
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I was eating a toaster strudel in bed and dropped it. no way my wife is gonna believe that story
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Bruce Jenner... I'm confused i keep smelling balls!?!
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No one wants to tickle me
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Good for you, you found them. Now pick them up and put them with the rest of my things.
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And just like that ... *POOF* weekend. GONE.
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Roses are red violets are blue Vodka costs less than dinner for two
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This is Simba. He graduated beginner's training class today. Good boy levels off the h*ckin charts. 14/10 would congratulate.
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WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD A 4X4 SO YOU LIFE YOUR TOASTER
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I tried to dig up his bone but he wouldn't let me
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Person: " so you just look at memes all day instead of socializing? " me: it's a peaceful life.
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This is Daisy and Luna. Daisy doesn't like car rides so Luna comforts her until they both fall asleep. H*cking heartwarming. 13/10 for each
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Nice try ghosts.
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I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally graduate from Art School.
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